Okay guys (specifically followers of the male sex) – you may think that because this is a blog about my visit to the hair salon that there’s nothing in it for you. Well, you’re 99% right but if you’re interested in learning more about your women, then congrats, you are one of the 1% who will benefit should you decide to keep reading. Why? Because having one’s hair done is an experience which can, for a woman, redefine who she is and act as the universal remedy (albeit, temporary) to any ailment, stress or disappointment she may endure. Think this is illogical? Think again. For many women, our happiness is largely connected with being at ease with our sense of identity; the collective aspect of the set of characteristics by which a thing is definitively recognizable or known (thank you dictionary.com). In layman’s terms : it’s who we are (or strive to be) on the inside, and who we appear to be on the outside, and thus how we are generally perceived by those around us.
Now, it would be great if we could all direct our focus inwards, to those personality traits, values, beliefs, etc that make up the sum of who we are. Unfortunately, the parts that tend to dictate our level of happiness on a day to day basis are mainly (not necessarily in order) our social status, our relationships and our physical appearance. These three elements of our identity impact both the way that we interact with society and how society chooses to interact with us. We are constantly being judged for the decisions we make and our present social status. If nobody cared whether you lived in a dump, you were unemployed, or still single into your mid-thirties, we probably wouldn’t let these aspects impact us as much as they go, but the point of the matter is, people do care. We can feel as right as rain on the inside but once someone makes a judgement that makes us question our appeal or our worth (to society, men, family, friends, you name it), it’s game over (for most of us). Feeling lack of appreciation, acknowledgement or accepted by those closest to us can also affect how we see ourselves and have a detrimental impact on our confidence levels and can lead us to change how we act, behave, dress, etc. Women put a ridiculous amount of pressure on themselves to meet unrealistic expectations – whether it’s trying to look like a top model or trying to get ten things done in the time it takes her husband to brush his teeth – falling short of expectations, those set by society or just our own, can really take its toll.
Solution? While a woman’s social and relationship status can heavily impact her happiness and sense of self, it’s unrealistic that either can or will be changed overnight. Only one of the contributing factors really allows for instant (yet again, temporary) gratification – changing the way we look.
The hair appointment:
For a woman, getting her hair cut, coloured, etc is a way to reshape some aspect of her life with which she fills unsatisfied or frustrated. For example: my career is slowly going down the drain but I can’t stop it (at least not in the short term). Solution? Change an aspect of my life my life and identity that I have full control over; my hair!
This is a good time to clarify what it means when a woman says she is having “a bad hair day”. When a woman says that she’s having a bad hair day, what she’s really saying is “even the one thing I have under control on a day to day basis, is beyond my control today.” This feeling inevitably leads to extreme frustration on her part. Words of wisdom to all male counterparts and witnesses to this strange event: when a women says she is having a bad hair day – back off. Seriously. Do not rush her. Do not joke with her. Do not get in her way. Let her take her time as she tries to conquer a beast of an up do, or straighten wild locks that refuse to untangle. I guarantee that in the end, you will be happy you did. She will be in a better mood and in all likelihood, so will you. Remember, if you don’t let her work it out on her hair, all of that anxiety will have to be directed elsewhere… and where do you think that may be?
The salon experience:
For women, it’s not just the final haircut, colour or whatever that is the sole benefit of heading to the salon. It’s the feeling of complete and utter relaxation. Leaving the stress and the worries of the real world behind her as she breathes in the scents of aroma-therapeutic shampoos and mint laced conditioners, magazine in one hand and tea (wine if you’ve gone really upscale) in the other.
This delicious experience is the path to an identity shift we are all hoping will help in some way to reshape the course of our future. Whether it’s the hopes of landing a mate, or feeling inspired to climb the corporate ladder; the more confident we feel about how we’re perceived, the more ready we are to deal with the … other stuff.
Short, long, brown on the bottom, blonde on top, bangs, no bangs, highlights, low-lights, I’ve done it all. In fact, I’ve even gone to a banquet with pink hair, but that’s another story all together. The point? Change is good. It helps us momentarily feel like we can take on anything that comes our way! So ladies, continue changing your hair as you would your underwear. It feels good and guess what? It grows (hair not underwear)! It’s more than okay to use your hair as a drawing board – just don’t forget to tackle real world problems face-on once in a while. Just like your hair – they won’t take care of themselves.