She runs with the speed of light at the sound of a cry. She heals all wounds and comforts without the use of magical powers. She can prepare dinner, keep a social calendar and return the house to normal at the end of the day all while ensuring the survival of a little human. She’s not superwoman, oh no, she’s much more than that; she’s SUPERMOM.
Talk about ensuring the survival of the human race. Okay, so Super-man, woman, whatever, can scale buildings, fly, rescue people in distress and monitor the general well-being of society. Reality check: If it weren’t for Supermoms the world over, there would be no one rescue. Who do you think makes sure that the little tots causing havoc become well-adjusted adults who get themselves in to stupid situations that require saving? Oh poor Superman, flying around the city saving people and squeezing into telephone booths to keep his disguise a secret. What a diva. Supermom has one outfit that is guaranteed to get stained, spat on, and generally mistreated throughout the day. There’s no changing this, or hemming that. In fact, shoulder stains and little tears are all part of what protects Supermom from the threat of good looking men who lurk around grocery stores or take long casual walks during their lunch break. These men may look to initiate conversation at places like the playground, the coffee shop or the doctor’s office, but thanks to looking like a complete and utter bum, Supermom maintains her honour and is able to focus on the task at hand; preservation of the species. Continue reading “Supermom: Ensuring the survival of the human race (literally)”
Today, for the second time this week, my afternoon snack consisted of a bag (not a handful, a bag) of mini-eggs and a strong cup of tea. I figure I deserve it, what with a 6 month old baby keeping me on my toes every minute of every day. Plus it’s better than diving into that bottle of wine sitting on the counter, right? Admittedly, I’ve always been a “three o’clock in the afternoon” sugar-kick kind of gal, but when Easter season comes hopping around the corner, my chocolate quota seems to sky rocket and all attempts at healthy-eating fly straight out the window.
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Having a baby is a big decision, and while you ought to be prepared to give it all up in an effort to be the perfect mama, saying goodbye to those precious moments of respite you savour when trying simultaneously to juggle a career, a household, a rockin’ bod, a social life and a full refrigerator (unless your husband actually does the groceries?) isn’t always as easy as it seems. Once your little one makes his/her arrival, all your minutes are instantaneously redirected towards feedings, diaper changes, doctors appointments, and bouncing up and down like a maniac trying to soothe a crying baby. They say this will only last for a little while (I’ll let you know in another month or so).
The point is, people don’t really tell you what exactly you’re giving up as a woman once you decide to have a baby (and it’s a good thing, otherwise human procreation would surely come to an alarming and immediate standstill). This is of course because the pay-off (a super cute, loving, minion sized bundle of joy) is totally worth at (and because woman have a biological component that deletes the trauma of birth and the time that immediately follows). Whatever the reason, there are a few things I wish I’d known before taking the dive into motherhood – not that I wouldn’t have done it anyways, but at least I would have had a better idea of what the first few months had in store. So, here it is; the stuff that every woman should know before dropping the pill and pinning their legs against a headboard in the hopes of sending swimmers to meet their mate. Do these things while you can ladies, and savour them for all of us.
*note: drinking wine is excluded because after giving birth I immediately reinstated a glass or two every other day – let’s be honest, that’s just responsible parenting. Continue reading “10 things every woman should enjoy before having a baby”