You don’t know me, and by now you’ve forgotten that 4 hour plane ride to Cuba where you and your wife were planted directly in front of the woman with the baby. You remember, don’t you? The really tall one with a 16 month old hanging out on her lap. That would be me.
As a tall woman and frequent traveler, there is nothing I hate more than someone who lowers their seat on an airplane. I won’t do it. But if I have to, if I really have to, the first thing I do is turn around and make sure I’m not slamming into the person behind me, or at least warn them I’m coming. But, a tall woman and a baby? Never would I ever (like, ever). So, as I noticed your chair drop down immediately following take-off, every bone in my body wanted to turn around and give you a break down in airplane etiquette. Continue reading “To The Man Who Complained About Putting His Seat Up On The Airplane”→
This morning, instead of driving towards a coffee shop or grocery store, I was brought to an undisclosed location and dropped off entirely against my will. It became apparent however, as my captor unloaded my belongings into my so-called “cubby”, that this had been planned for quite some time. While I’d already been given a full meal, I ate half a piece of toast, some crackers, and a pouch of pureed fruit and veg – more so out of shock than pure hunger. I could feel myself suffocating but then, as we went outside for a walk around the premises, I slowly regained my breath. The guards at this prison are not outwardly cruel, in fact they seem to go out of their way to be as nice to me as possible. I’m convinced it’s all part of the ruse, although I’m still trying to identify the end game. Whether they wish to carry out experiments on my young, unscathed body or push my fresh, open mind to the absolute brink; they will live to regret the day they tried to contain me. I made a decision after nibbling on those delicious fish shaped, cheese filled crackers; no more food. For as long as they keep me here, I will not eat. Let the hunger strike begin. Continue reading “Daycare Diaries: Inside The Mind Of The World’s Youngest Prisoner”→
Step 1. Don’t waste the babysitter on something that may not be epic. You only get a handful of nights off – they must ALL be epic.
So recently, as in, over the course of the last year or so, my husband and I haven’t exactly had a lot of one on one time. I don’t mean to divulge under the cover kind of information here, I’m talking dinners out, movie nights, that kind of thing. I mean, we’ve been super fortunate to escape for a weekend getaway as well as a wedding or birthday celebration here and there, but the getaways are few and far between, and the craziness of the far between part can often make nights out seem a whole lot more stressful than they might be worth.
This past weekend, we were all set to celebrate my husband’s German heritage by breaking out the Dirndl and Lederhosen and take part in the second largest Oktoberfest outside of Munich located in Kitchener, Waterloo (fun fact, Kitchener, until 1916, was actually called Berlin). We’ve done this a few times in the past and had a riot. This year however, we sort of spoiled ourselves by gathering a group of friends and trying out the Toronto Oktoberfest which was, in my opinion, far better and equally as authentic. Decked out in our (my husband hates it when I use this word) “costumes” we enjoyed a grand choice of German beer, Bavarian music and an all round good time! Compared to the Canadian beer offered up at the Oktoberfdest Kitchener, the Weihenstephan went down super smoothly and had this typical non-beer drinker running for more! The food was great too, with the choice of schnitzel, sausages, sauerkraut and big yummy pretzels with delicious grainy mustard to top it off. Continue reading “Scratch that, let’s go local: How to party like a parent”→