One of my favourite movies is “Out of Africa” where a tragically married Meryl Streep (Karen) falls in love with Robert Redford (Denys), a free spirit who is unwilling to settle down, until (spoiler alert) he decides, at the very end, to make his way back to her only to crash his plane en route – devastating! Regardless, one of the best lines in the movie comes near the end of the film, when Redford’s character says, “You ruined it for me you know?”, and Meryl answers: “What?” to which he replies with a defeated look in his eye, “Being alone.” I know, I know… and your point is? I’m getting there, read on.
Serenity in solitude
After a lovely chat with a friend of mine earlier today, it became suddenly clear how my perspective on solitude and singledom has changed. After five years of being in a committed relationship, I no longer crave downtime. I don’t need time alone to gather my thoughts, and, given the chance, I would always choose to have my husband at home, than away traveling for work, or out with the guys. As the words came out of my mouth, I found myself shaking my head, wondering when the freedom seeking Sagittarius had swapped her bow and arrow for a broom and dustpan? Who am I? I suddenly realized that I’m no longer just a woman, a writer, a traveler, a runner, a friend, a lover, etc. In addition to being all these other things, that I always was, now, I’m also someones wife . Gulp!
One of the hardest parts of working out is finding time in the day to cram it all in. Gone are the days where, as children, we had countless afternoons that melted seamlessly into evenings where we played carefree until the sun went down; or as college/university students, we could pack things up and squeeze in a work out before, after, or in-between classes (who am I kidding: even skipping a class wasn’t entirely off the table in those days); or, as high level athletes we could depend on strict schedules that included extreme fitness training, practices and matches to keep us in shape. After the joyride is over and the reality of responsibilities start to kick in – you know, jobs, partners, children – it’s a lot harder to keep in shape and a lot less motivating to put in the extra push.
Staying in shape; what does that even mean? Does it mean being able to run as far and as fast as you did as a teenager? Does it mean fitting into the jeans you’ve held onto since college? Such unrealistic expectations are a great way to give up on a healthy lifestyle altogether; why put in the effort if you aren’t seeing results?
First things first; adjust your expectations. Now that you’re all grown up, it’s time to admit that maybe, just maybe, the dream if over. Today’s workout isn’t about bringing you one step closer to being an NHL all-star, it’s a commitment to establishing and maintaining a healthy lifestyle. Don’t get me wrong; setting smaller targets within that goal is a great way to keep motivated. Do sign up for races, lessons, social leagues and competitions, but do not dissuade yourself from living a healthy lifestyle because you’ve set unrealistic and unobtainable goals. Whether you’re an amateur, an experienced athlete or a has-been looking for that extra push, it’s never been more important to start small and work your way back up.
Continue reading “How to Get (and Stay) Fit: Build a Routine”
He didn’t call. There are no available men left out there. He’s got too much baggage. He’s not tall enough. Fit enough. Smart enough. Old enough. Young enough. Single enough. Etc. Etc. Etc.
Whatever the reason (or the instigator), from time to time, every single woman finds herself in need of a distraction from the dating game.
Continue reading “Online Dating: Distraction? Yes. Solution? No.”